If someone would have told me after my divorce I needed to “be still” I would have laughed. Probably not to their face, but definitely afterward.
My instinct was to hustle. Get things done. Get a new life. Not let the pain creep in too much.
But honestly, learning to be still is one of the best things I have done to make a comeback.
I’ve learned that the only way to think clearly is when I stop trying so hard to make things happen. And trust me, if you’re going to make a comeback, you have to think clearly.
We all—married or divorced—deal with noise. The noisy demands from work. The challenges of a new relationship with your kids. The noisy advice of well-meaning friends and family.
There is so much noise that it’s hard to decipher in a sea of new decisions which one is the right one. And if you allow the noise to distract you, you’ll become so focused on the pain that you’ll end up hurting the ones you love the most.
Remember: your goal in this season is simply wholeness for you and your kids. If you can’t find the stillness, you’ll never make the clear decisions that lead you toward wholeness.
You’re responsible for the environment that your kids walk into when they come to dad’s house. The only way that can happen is if you’ve made a point to allow calm and quiet to be a discipline of your life.
When I was figuring out our new normal, there were people and things that didn’t add to a healthy climate for myself or my kids.
It’s hard to distance yourself and your kids from grandparents, close friends, and even your kid’s friends that are negative or toxic. But creating a positive environment is the fastest way to healing and it’s worth finding ways to create distance.
So here are some takeaways:
- Clear the noise
- Get rid of toxic people
- Pay attention to the energy in your home
- Find your quiet place
Find a way to be still.